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Multiple Dog Disorder

When one is not e-nough!

Mulitple Poodle Syndrome
You will be assimilated! All resistance is futile.

Vickie Haywood

If you have two or more dogs, your may be suffering from that dreaded disease Multiple Dog Disorder. Do you fear that you are one of those agility people who start collecting dogs like other people collect stamps or coins - you know, a Mini, Midi and a couple of Standards as well as assorted rescue dogs that you just couldn't resist. Kim Norton sent this email suggesting some diagnostic criteria; we've added more. Test yourself.


If you have two or more of these symptoms,
you may be coming down with a severe case of 'Too Many Dogs'.

  • You have poor self-control.
  • You are usually unable to resist 'just one more'.
  • If you know the staff and doctors at the veterinary office better than you know the ones at your own doctor's office.
  • The same goes for memorizing the phone numbers.
                    Sherry Rand
  • You have 100% occupancy of kennel space at all times.
  • Your dog food expenses are, at least, four times the grocery bill.
  • You have a minimum of two kennels and one grooming table in the house.
  • Your dog grooming equipment takes up four large storage crates.
  • Your personal grooming supplies are always packed in an overnight bag, ready to go.

 

  • You clean your kennels daily, your house once a month.
  • Doing dishes means washing more than a dozen dog bowls.
  • You have a double bed, but in the morning you wake up to find yourself clinging to the side to allow enough room for the dogs.
  • Your yard is securely fenced. All landscaping is outside of fence.
  • Once a week you go to the butcher who gives out free uncooked bones to attract customers to the shop.

 

  • You live in an isolated rural location.
  • Your mother asks 'how many dogs do you have...now?'
  • Do you have Pooper Scooper Wrist (similar to Tennis Elbow)
  • The dry cleaner always finds plastic baggies in pockets.
  • You used to show pictures of children. Now you whip out pictures of your dogs.
  • You can't resist advising strangers with badly behaved dogs about dog training.

 

  • Your first criteria for booking a holiday is 'Do they take dogs and, if so how many?'
  • You wake up every morning at 6.30am to walk the dogs, even on weekends.
  • You buy a sedate estate intend of the sexy sports car you fancy so you can take the dogs to shows.
  • You have a sticker on your rear window that says 'Caution. Agility dogs in transit.'

You know you have MDD syndrome when you can't sleep at night,
thinking of  doggy names for the next new one!

What's Your Score?

If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, give yourself one point per question.
 Then add up your score and check your rating.

Number of Points Dr. Dawg's Diagnosis
2-4 Go to bed. Drink a lot of Vitamin C. You'll be okay in the morning. Maybe.
5-7 Rest for a few days. Cuddle up with a few dogs and enjoy Pet Rescue.
8-10 Don't go near the local pet shop or Battersea Dogs Home. You are at risk. And you may be contagious.
11+ Give in. You have a chronic condition. You are incurable. Enjoy it.

One more can't hurt!

If you are suffering from this all-consuming and highly contagious (but not dangerous) disease, relieve the pain. Share them with us.
Email your symptoms to:- Ellen Rocco at Agilitynet.


Illustrations by Laura Rogers.
Available as fridge magnets at 3.00 each from:-
Expressions
P.O. Box 3
Wakefield WF2 6XY

From Eileen Madrigale...
My husband's dog Tribble got her name from a Star Trek episode that was based on pet therapy and pet overpopulation, The Trouble with Tribbles. A visitor on the Enterprise gave a depressed young woman a round furry creature called a 'Tribble' and told her if she petted and cuddled it, it would make her feel better. Well, it did. When the woman felt better she thought she should make the Tribble feel good by feeding it. When you feed Tribbles, they multiply. One turned into 1,700,000 (?) in 48 or 72 hrs!  Has this happened at your house? Well, it has at mine. Tribble is from my first litter, where we kept two pups instead of one, and they continue to multiply here, although the Tribbles are now Border Collies! (05/03/04)

From Carolyn Smith Hankins...
What a relief to find that I am not alone in this terrible disease! As my patient father puts it, 'Carolyn, the dogs don't live with you, you live with the dogs.'

I chose my home for the large yard and six foot privacy fence without concern for the structure itself. Indeed, all landscaping is outside the confines of the fence. I recently purchased a king-size bed to accommodate me and my seven dog. The queen-size mattress just wasn't doing it. I have three Beagles, one Foxhound, a Jack Russell terrier, a Lab mix and a Shep-chow. My veterinarian has been my referral source for MDs and DDSs, as he was my first contact when I relocated to this small Texas town. Life revolves around the dogs.

My husband and I are separated, non-dog related. I have been holding out on divorce working hard at reconciliation, because who else would put up with all these dogs in the house! They have a doggie door and the run of the place, and that is the way we all like it.

I am also an avid foxhunter and spend three days a week out at the kennels working forty-five hounds with the hunt staff. There are a few hounds not working well in the pack, hence my canine coffers may have to accommodate a few more.

What joy! What abundance of love and amusement! What immense emotional rewards are to be reaped by living in a big group of healthy, happy dogs! (27/06/01)