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New Year Agility Humour

Begin the year with a smile

The celebration of the new year is the oldest of all holidays. It's a time for new beginnings and optimism and  for making promises to ourselves - to win out of a class, to retrain those contacts, to qualify for Olympia, to be more patient with our dogs. We're told that a good psychological tip is to focus on what you want - not on what you donít want, so just keep saying to yourself 'Agility is fun, agility is fun, agility is fun...' because it is!


New Year Resolutions Past & Present

from Jayne Edwards

I donít know about anyone else, but my New Year Resolutions always end up like some sort of behaviour shaping exercise with the dogs holding the clicker. Here is an example from my last yearís resolutions:-

 Jayneís Resolutions (cleanliness section) 2004

1 January 2004

  • The dogs will have their feet rinsed and dried after every trip outside.

  • The kitchen floor will be mopped daily.

3 January 2004

  • The dogs will have their feet rinsed and dried after most trips outside, and especially after walks.

  • The kitchen floor will be mopped daily (time permitting).

6 January 2004

  • The dogs will have their feet dried after every trip outside, and they will need a rinse too after walks.

  • The kitchen floor will be mopped every time I fail to distinguish between 'trip outside' and 'walk.'

7 January 2004

  • Baldrick will have his feet rinsed and dried after every walk. Rocky has short hair, so he can get away with a quick wipe. Both dogs must walk over a towel in the doorway after every trip outside.

  • The kitchen floor will be wiped thoroughly with the dog towel every time the dogs come inside from outside. The kitchen floor must be thoroughly mopped every couple of days.

14 January 2004

  • Baldrick must have his feet wiped after every walk (time permitting). Rocky must have his feet wiped if they look AT ALL dirty. Both dogs must walk over a towel in the doorway after every trip outside.

  • The kitchen floor will be wiped with the dog towel after every walk. The kitchen floor will be mopped weekly whether it needs it or not.

21 January 2004

  • Both dogs must walk over a towel in the doorway after walks and whenever it is raining. Their feet will be rinsed and dried whenever necessary.

  • The kitchen floor will be mopped when necessary.

23 January 2004

  • No dogs in the bedrooms with wet feet.

  • The kitchen floor will be mopped when we have visitors.

 Jayneís resolutions (cleanliness section) 2005

1 January 2005

  • The dogs will have their feet rinsed and dried after every trip outside. Absolutely definitely, or wiped at the very least, whether they need it or not...


 Course Design for the Older Dog by the Older Dog

from Clyde with Dawn Davies

Ten year old Clyde says that his handler has only just come into the 20th Century and got herself a computer - but no scanner yet - so he has decided to submit his own ideas for a few changes that an 'older' veteran agiity dog would introduce if they could. For instance:-

  • There would be yoga classes available to loosen us up before we run
  • The a-frame would be replaced with a zimmer frame
  • Weaves would be set six feet apart for the less mobile
  • All tunnels would have ramps and be placed on stilts so we don't have to bend down
  • The sea-saw would be replaced by a chair for a quick rest half way round
  • Jumps would be set at 12" max
  • At the finish there would be a member of the club, waiting with an oxygen bottle, aspirin and a wheelchair to take us back to the car for a good long nap
  • The course time would be extended to 1hour 30 minutes
  • We would all get a clear round rosette even if we make a mistake because YOU try running a course at our age and see how well you do!

Cartoon: Kim Blundell