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Canine Internet Humour

Before YouTube, Facebook and Twitter, the internet was awash with endless lists of things about men v. women, dogs v. cats and variations on the theme. There were so many that, in the end, we banned them from Agilitynet until now. We loved the ones below not only because they're funny but because most of them with a little change here and there are true of agility folk! Thanks to Susie Sherwin for sharing.

You know you've have gone to the dogs when...

  1. Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your dogs are welcome to sleep on any place they so choose
     

  2. It takes an entirely separate dustbin to handle all the poop.
     

  3. All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured dog you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out comes the chequebook.
     

  4. You and your family haven't been to the doctors in two years, but the dogs are all medically up to date.
     

  5. You start barking at your children to 'Sit! Stay!'
     

  6. You're more concerned with the dogs' needs than your own when the budget gets tight.
     

  7. Most if not all of your annual holiday is taken up going to agility shows!
     

  8. Dog crates double as chairs and/or tables in your home.
     

  9. You can only remember people by associating them with their dog.
     

  10. You aren't wroried if overnight guests - who may or may not share your bed - are offended by having to sleep with you and the dog(s).
     

  11. You snuggle closer to the dog than the person with whom you are sleeping.
     

  12. You decide to downsize from a place in the city to a country cottage with lots of land in order to build the kennel of your dreams.
     

  13. You spend more time looking through the internet for dog supplies than for Victoria's Secret nighties or Lakeland gadgets
     

  14. All your social activities revolved around other dog people.
     

  15. Your voice is immediately recognised by your vet's receptionist.
     

  16. Everyone in the office is eager to know if the dogs are all right because you were late for the meeting.


Why some men prefer agility dogs to wives or partners...

At the risk of being pelted with dog biscuits around the ring or being called as a MCP (male chauvinist pig) - or worse - at the next show, the Agility Whisperer says there are reasons that some men prefer their agility dogs to their wives or partners.  Does this give you a clue to the identity of The Whisperer? And is there anyone out there who can come up with reasons why women prefer their agility dogs to their husbands/partners?

  1. The later you are the more excited your dogs are to see you.
     

  2.  Dogs do not notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
     

  3.  Your agility dogs love it if you leave lots of things on the floor.
     

  4.  Your dogs’ parents never visit.
     

  5.  You never have to wait for an agility dog – they are ready to go 24 hours a day.
     

  6.  Your dog finds you amusing when you are drunk.
     

  7.  Agility dogs jump on command.
     

  8.  A refusal by an agility dog is unusual.
     

  9. They don’t look for faults.
     

  10.  A dog will let you put a collar on it without calling you a pervert.
     

  11.  Dogs never complain about your bad breath.

Finally, and most importantly if a dog leaves it will not take half of your assets.

So there you have it fellas. I am sure you can think of many more reasons. I bet the women could not get beyond one item on their list!

Author credit...
Adapted for the agility world by the Agility Whisperer.