Agility is Fun
And it can be funny, too!
 Have you got a
good agility story to share. Make us smile. Here are some funny tales to start you off.
The Garden Party
As a Rosarian as well as a new person to agility, I had taken my two dogs along
with their X-pen with me to go and do some volunteer pruning alone in the city rose garden. As
I was pruning, some women arriving at the nearby picnic tables recognized me. There's nothing
nicer than getting caught red-handed doing a good deed. They called me over and invited me to
join them for the Garden Club picnic that was about to get underway. There were about 25
members that were bringing pot luck items and setting them on a couple of picnic tables they'd
covered with tablecloths... In making conversation, I remarked that Buttons, Blondie and I were
learning agility the past several months. I decided to give the ladies a little treat - an
agility demonstration using what impromptu agility equipment was at hand, an unused picnic
table off to the side of the gathering.
Getting Blondie, a 9" 14-month old toy poodle, I set her
down on the grass and said in a clear voice, 'Up. Jump, walk-walk-walk', pointing at the vacant
table to be used as a dog-walk. Only I didn't see her get up there. I turned around to look for
her, and found Blondie proudly and happily walking as fast as she could across the table,
between the potato salads, bowls of strawberries, over the table cloths of the tables of the
Garden Club members who were in the process of serving...
Linda Renfer (USA) - Held captive by two toy poodles. Ransom note to follow
The Derby Twister: A Strange but True Tale!
Derbyshire's 1999 agility show on the 31st July and 1st
August basked in temperatures rarely seen in the UK when the thermometer touched 85 degrees (F)
on Saturday and peeked at 90 degrees (F) on Sunday, although more freak weather conditions were
to come before the end of the show.
On Sunday afternoon at about 2.00 pm a piece of agility
history was made when the showground was hit by a tornado, this time, the weather kind rather
than the Jo Rhodes and Kelbie kind. Approaching across the nearby A38 the funnel of wind which
was already carrying a pile of debris, grass and paper decided to lift a garden umbrella out of
it's stand and carry it some 60 feet into the air. Clearly the tornado was reaping a vengeance
on the owner who was just taking an afternoon rest after working hard the previous day on a
ring party.
The umbrella was twirled some 350 feet through the show
ground although some first reactions from the competitors were more concerned with the
stupidity of someone flying a kite over the rings at an agility show, rather than the potential
danger it presented to all the handlers and dogs. After the umbrella landed briefly in Rings 3
and 2 it finally came to rest in Ring 1 judged by Keith Brookes who managed to stop a dog and
competitor running to judge the umbrella. After clearing several jumps the umbrella
unfortunately missed a contact point incurring 5 faults and knocked down a couple of jumps for
a total of 15 faults, which proved to be quite a lot better than some handlers on such a hot
day.
The tornado then proceeded past the secretary's tent, missing it only by inches probably
because the secretary had taken out insurance for such an occasion, and hit a transit van next
door, partly ripping a tarpaulin from the roof and scaring the hell out of the dogs inside. It
then moved through the club camping area battering several caravans and cars in it's path
before leaving the show ground for a residential area, never to be seen again. After retrieving
his umbrella intact the owner John Gilbert admitted to seeing it flying through the air and
noticing that "it looked familiar and very like his own". Thankfully John didn't get caught up
in the tornado with his umbrella to give everyone his own rendition of Mary Poppins!
After a very short and impromptu DDAC committee meeting,
Tornado Annabelle was named and the Derbyshire Show became the first agility show in the UK to
be hit by a twister and survive with no damage. Needless to say when everyone had gone home at
6 o'clock on Sunday night British weather returned, the heavens opened and torrential rain hit
the showground providing welcome relief for the dogs and those remaining behind to clear away.
At the end of the show the secretary was heard to say
that she had booked lots of sunshine for the show but couldn't remember putting a cross in the
boxes where it said 'Do you want a tornado or torrential rain?' Still, you can't remember
everything when you're running a show, can you?
Andy Farrington (PR Officer - Derbyshire DAC)
Illustration: W.W. Denslow in The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
(Rand McNally & Co)
The Very Good Dog
In the run up to our show in 1998, I received a phone call from
a gentleman from deepest Devon with one of those rich rolling accents. The conversation ran a
bit like this:-
Competitor:
I'm just filling in this here schedule and I'm not quite sure what classes my dog's eligible
for, can you help me sort it out?
Show Secretary:
Of course I can. Has your dog been to a show before?
Competitor:
He has indeed. This will be his second show.
Show Secretary:
Right, so how did you and your dog get on at the show?
Competitor:
Oh, he's a very good dog, a very good dog indeed.
Show Secretary:
Did you win anything?
Competitor:
We did indeed my maid.
Show Secretary:
(Taking a deep breath) Right, so if you tell me what you won, I'll be able to tell you what
classes you can enter at our show.
Competitor:- Got
you, well - we won a bottle of wine in the raffle.
Anni Telford
The Watford Agility Show: From the Perspective of
a Damp Ring Manager
Lincolnsfield Playing Fields witnessed a kind of concentrated insanity on Saturday, 24
October 1998 as agility folk demonstrated exactly to what lengths they will go to pursue their
sport of choice. We probably should have known after being an April weather casualty that the
weather gods wouldn't let it go that easily.
Friday was okay. Just the odd shower. Sunday was great,
but on the big day it rained, and it rained, and it rained. I thought we had thought of
everything, but when putting together the list of vital show equipment no one thought
hmmm...jumps, tents, ring ropes, rosettes, and oh, and don't forget the ark!
The show must go on
There was a stylish display of the latest in wet weather gear and much discussion of the merits
of the waxed jacket versus more hi-tech fabrics. Now here was an event for Barbour to sponsor!
It was notable how people's dress in the ring changed over the day. In the morning lots of
soggy overcoats were dumped in our tent while their brave owners went out in their sweatshirts
as per 'good practice'. By the afternoon no-one was foolish enough to try this stunt and
success was measured by one's ability to run in lots of soaking wet overclothing. I didn't
worry too much about treats in pockets - I would have been amazed if they had survived the
soaking. My overcoat supply was converted to porridge within an hour of arrival and covered the
schedule and other documents in there in a delightful coat of gunge.
In the Helter Skelter ring we saw some amazing displays
of courage under spray, plus a few wet dogs in the queue trying to tunnel into the tent, having
quite obviously had enough. Poor lambs! That's one thing I will say for the rain, it sorted out
the dogs from the pups. The benefits of a forward working dog were very apparent in my ring as
we feeble two-legged ones tried to stay upright in the mud. However, just in case some are
feeling smug at this point, an enormous number of these decided to take the Number Two obstacle
again and get eliminated while their handlers tried to get there in one piece.
 A special
mention here to my own ballistic Heinz 57, the lovely Oh Rosie!, for getting eliminated by
doing Number One again instead of Number Two. I am reliably informed that this was unique, and
was actually quite a difficult elimination to achieve under the circumstances.
The spray flying off the collapsible tunnel was quite
spectacular. Not a few dogs changed their mind halfway down the canvas and went into reverse
gear. Some were obviously just not having a good time in the mud and constant downpour, but
most dogs still gave it 100%, which I think says a lot about how much dogs enjoy their agility.
I don't think I will forget the poor dog which frantically circled on the table looking for a
dry bit to jump off onto. By this time, it was surrounded by a sea of mud. The dog jumped off
eventually, but I think if it could it would have closed its eyes and held its nose.
 By
the end of the day the dog's feet had disappeared into the mud up to their ankles (do dogs have
ankles?) but the brave handlers and soggy dogs just kept coming. A lot of people left early,
and this was probably quite a wise decision - they got out before cars started getting stuck -
but many stuck it out to the bitter end. I have to give all credit (and more) to the army
cadets here. They spent the afternoon pushing, pulling, and otherwise extracting mired vehicles
from the field. I saw one overcommitted lad go down face first at one stage. Drivers of 4-wheel
drive vehicles also proved worth their weight in gold.
Behind Every Cloud
I would like to congratulate Ian Stowers, the judge in my ring, for staying smiling to
the end, and also his timekeeper. Both must have caught even more individual rain drops than I
did. In fact, everyone working on the ring was a pleasure to work with and made the best of
trying circumstances. Thank you to Reg and Audrey for getting us all into this. I know that
organising something like this can be a thankless task and you did a great job. Well done to
Alan Baxter, who eventually won the class, and thank you to all the competitors who cheerfully
kept going. You all deserved medals for fortitude and a straitjacket for actually going through
with it.
A cheering thought though - this was the last outdoor
show this year. We can all look up at a roof with a sigh of relief for the rest of the season.
To those weather gods up there - ha, ha, we did it anyway. We Watfordians don't give up easily.
The reason?
A. Too much courage
B. No brains
Answers on a postcard please.
The prize? - A bucket of rainwater collected on the day.
I had one final thought as we cleared up (getting
a quart of equipment into a pint pot of trailers in the process), 'I wonder what the Council
are going to say about that field?'
Stephanie King
Stylish rainwear by Country Mun. For a selection of good quality, British made doggie
accessories, visit http://www.k9netuk.com/commercial/countrymun.
Never Run Your Wife's Dog
I don't know if this is a case for congratulations,
commiserations or near divorce. On Sunday 15th August, the day of the Honiton show, my wife
Fran is not feeling well so she stays at home with our son George. I take my dog Basil.
'Shall I take your dogs? I say.
'Yes,' says Fran. 'but don't do too
well, will you?
Basil runs well but gets five faults. Fran's young dog Bo
does very well but gets ten faults. Fran's Briar who runs constantly well but has never got
higher than third ran brilliantly.
'I'll take the scribe sheets to the score
tent,' I say taking a quick peep at Briar's time (as you do). 37.25 was that all? I thought.
'Never mind, she did run well.
I saw Angie Williams walking across to the rings later.
She said, Well done! Brilliant round.'
'Thought she was quicker,'I said.
'32.25 was quick enough to be in the lead,' she said.
'What!?#'! I said, dashing over to the
score tent.
She was right. I had misread the time and Briar was in
the lead. What do I do? I know Fran said not to do too well but is winning Novice Agility doing
well?'
Fran rings to find out how we are doing.
'OK.' I say.
How did Briar do?
'Had a good round in Novice Agility,' I
said. 'Speak to you later when I find out where she came.
People keep saying, 'Have you told Fran yet?'
'No,' I say.
'Chicken,' they say.
Fran rings again (thought she was not well).
'How did Briar do?' she asks again.
Wellllll... she came First,'I said.
'Oh,' Fran said.
'I couldn't help it,' I said. 'It was
Briar's fault. She ran too well!
I think I got away with it.
'Well, don't do it again!' Fran said.
P.S. Thank the lucky stars, Briar got five in jumping.
The moral of the story is... Never run
your wife or partners dog or rather don't win. Divorce is a costly business.
Clive Hildersley
(Still married!)
Dog & Bone
 I
was reading e-mail from the Agility-L list when a message came in containing only the word HELP
in the subject line, and the following signature:-
Renee Ward (Mpls, Minn)
So I replied to the message
with:-
Renee,
What do you need help with?
Sherry
Receiving no reply, after
several minutes I posted the following to the list:-
Renee,
Please respond quickly.......do you need help? Does anyone on the list know Renee? Is there any
possibility this is a request for MEDICAL help or other emergency?
Sherry
Still no reply... So I sent a
message to the AGILEDOGS list:-
Does anyone on this list know Renee Ward of Minneapolis, Minn? Please respond
privately and quickly. Possible emergency.
Sherry
And after a few minutes, another
to AGILEDOGS:-
Renee posted a message to the Agility-L list a few minutes ago containing only the word
HELP. I'm concerned she may need Medical or other emergency help but can't get any response
from her. Does anyone know what to do?
Sherry
Mary Jo Smirkey responded. She had done a search on
Renee's name and came up with an address and telephone number. At that point nearly 30 minutes
had gone by since the 'call for help' was posted, and I was getting a bit frantic so I called
the Michigan State Police to see if they could help.
While I was on the phone with
them, I was quite relieved to get the following message from Renee Ward:-
I am so sorry, I was writing to get subscribed to this net got a phone call and left the
keyboard on the chair. When I came back into the room my nine month Border Collie pup was
sitting on it. I didn't realize it had sent as it had disconnected.
Renee Ward (Mpls, Minn)
Happy ending so I sent the
following message to both agility lists:-
OK, everybody, I just got a response from Renee. She had started a message and got a phone
call, left the keyboard sitting on a chair. Her 'sily' BC pup Sabrina (Bri) sat on keyboard and
apparently sent the message! LOL... I was on the phone to the state Police when her message
came in!
Sherry Wargo (USA)
Addendum
Subject: [AGILE] Renee Ward
Guess a word to the wise is BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU LEAVE ON
YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN WHEN YOU STOP IN MID-MESSAGE !! LOL!!
Glad to see that people are alert to things like that.
Thanks Sherry !!
Barbara Craig (USA)
My dog called 911 once. He knocked the phone off the hook
and then put hit his paw on the phone a few times. I then put the phone back on the hook and
when I did the phone rang and to my surprise it was 911 operator asking if everything was Ok
since a 911 call had just been made from my house. Now only if he could do this on command in a
real emergency...
Diane Lewis (USA)
A BC can write for help??!!?? Lordy....I want one of
those! LOL,,I love it!!!! gg
Leslie Rush (USA)
Gee... think the BC can learn to read?? AHHH taking
Agility yet another step further...
Diane Gregoire (USA)
I thought y'all would find this one amusing...
Good Ole Dad
 We
have two Borzois who are the Agility dogs. Moxie is coming along well, and Flame is to start
soon. My folks think I'm a little weird about dogs (sound familiar). Although my Dad has
built most of my equipment, they've never been to an Agility show. They say they'll come to one
when Moxie actually competes!
Friday night after bowling, Mom, Dad, my DH (Dear
Husband) and I were sitting at Whataburger drinkin' coffee, and Dad says to me eagerly, 'You
know that Agility stuff you do?'
'Yes?' I said, thrilled that he was
showing some animation about my obsession.
'Well, I just saw *just* the dog you should get if you're
serious about that Agility.'
'Yeah? Really?'
'Uncle Robert's got one... real smart, real agile, real
hyper. It's one of them there... wha'daya call 'em...'
'What???'
'Border Collies.'
'D'oh!!!'
Even the laymen, for mercy's sake! Even the
laymen!!! {VBG}
Donna-Lynn Musgrave & her Borzois (USA)
If you have any wildly funny agility stories or
even ones which will just make us smile, send them to
Agilitynet.
**Congratulations to Anni Telford, winner of
the 2000 Fromm Family Nutrition contest for the funniest agility story. A Fromm Family
t-shirt plus a 3kg bag of food is on its way. And thanks to everyone for big smile.
Fromm Family Nutritionals offers a full line of pet foods
for all life stages - each scientifically formulated to meet the specific requirements of your
dog. The entire line is guaranteed nutritionally complete and balanced for all stages of a
dog's life. Made in the USA and available in the UK from sole importers Penni Gregory on
01242-245466 or Roger Colver on 01531-633985. Fax: 01531-635356. Email: fromm@postal-pets.freeserve.co.uk.
Free 48 hour delivery.
| 
