How to have a jolly holiday with your dog...

Holiday Etiquette for Dogs
From Wendy Barker & Jim Webster

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:

  • Don't pee on the tree

  • Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree

  • Mind your tail when you are near the tree

  • If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open

  • Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:

  • Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans

  • Don't eat off the buffet table

  • Beg for goodies subtly

  • Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa

  • Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:

  • Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses.

  • Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house

  • Tolerate children

  • Turn on your charm big time.

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. Don't bite him!

Wrapping Christmas Presents with the Help of a Puppy

  1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc, in middle of living room.

  2. Get tape back from puppy.

  3. Remove scissors form older dog’s mouth.

  4. Open box

  5. Take puppy out of box.

  6. Remove tape from older dog’s mouth.

  7. Take scissors away from puppy.

  8. Put present in box.

  9. Remove present from puppy’s mouth

  10. Put back in box after removing puppy from box.

  11. Take scissors from older dog and sit on them.

  12. Remove puppy from box and put on lid.

  13. Take tape away from older dog

  14. Unroll paper.

  15. Take puppy OFF box.

  16. Cut paper being careful not to cut puppy’s foot or nose that is getting in the way as it 'helps.'

  17. Let puppy tear remaining paper.

  18. Take puppy off box.

  19. Wrap paper around box

  20. Remove puppy from box and take wrapping paper from its mouth

  21. Tell older dog to fetch the tape so he will stop stealing it

  22. Take scissors away from puppy

  23. Take tape older dog is holding

  24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older dog and sitting on them again

  25. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape and tape another spot

  26. Take bow from older dog

  27. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with

  28. Take scissors from older dog who took them when you stood up

  29. Give pen to older dog to hold so he stops licking your face

  30. Remove puppy from present and quickly slap tape on to hold paper on

  31. Take soggy bow from puppy and tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks

  32. Take pen from older dog, address tag and fix while puppy tries to eat pen

  33. Grab present before puppy opens it and put it away

  34. Clean up mess puppy and older dog made playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper

  35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies and tell dogs what good helpers they are!

Thank you to Becky Parks for passing on this gem.

Credits: Woodside DAC show schedule, Hamster Baskets

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