Agility folklore
Old wives' tales are perhaps as old as language
itself. They're part of our oral tradition, originating long before pen and ink, books and
movies, and certainly before the Internet. They've probably have survived through the ages
because they offer comforting advice about experiences that we all share, have little control
over, usually worry about and have more than a grain of truth to them, never more so than in
agility. More well perceived humour from the Agility Whisperer.
A Mother's Advice
 There
were two pieces of advice which mothers supposedly passed on to their sons. The first was that
you should always look at the mother before making a permanent commitment to a girlfriend. What
would the girlfriend look like in twenty five years time and secondly how would her behaviour
change? Would the silver tongued young lover turn into a carping harridan?
This piece of folklore
returned to me the other week. Several people were looking at a furry bundle, which was the new
pride and joy of the family. What do you think she is going to be like, asked one person? Now
that is a very difficult question. Even if you see the mother there is much left to chance in
the choice of a puppy, even if we do all the puppy psychology tests before we part with our
hard-earned money. Will it end up as a Mini when we wanted a Midi, with a 'D'? One interesting
piece of information I discovered recently, about people, is that most of the genetic code
concerned with intelligence comes from the mother. So now you know who to blame. As our genetic
make up is so similar to a dog it probably applies to dogs as well.
Oh, I almost forgot the
second piece of advice given to a son. Never go out with someone who wears red shoes. I never
did understand that one!
The Wise
Woman
 A
new member arrived at the club. She had been a member at another club, until a change in job
meant that she had to move away. She asked the membership secretary, a wise woman, what the
members were like.
'What were they like at
your last club?'
'Oh they were great. We all
got on well together.'
'Well you will probably
find the members much the same here.'
A week later another new
member arrived and asked the same question. Again the wise woman gave the same response but got
a very different reply.
'Oh they were always
gossiping and back stabbing.'
'Well,' came the reply.
'You will probably find them much the same here.'
An Enduring
Problem
 Many
older readers will, no doubt, remember this old country proverb:
He, who lies down with
dogs, gets up with fleas.
I am sure that there is now
a 'Spot On' solution in the 'Frontline' of remedying this ancient problem.
Improving
Your Compost
 Gardener’s
Question time has confirmed the country gardeners’ long held belief that a compost heap
benefits from regular application of urine. Now are you going to do it yourself and suffer the
embarrassment of the neighbours at the window with their binoculars or are you going to train
the dog to do it. It beats having white patches on the lawn.
It is probably all
academic, because as an agility handler you are going to be away so much of the summer that you
will never get round to making a compost heap.
The Mummers
Are Coming
 In
many parts of the country there used to be a tradition of 'mumming'. On New Year’s Eve,
children would go around with their faces covered in soot. They would carry dirty dusters and
brushes to sweep away the old year.
If you do not have any two
mummers, just let the dogs out in the garden and then watch them dash about the house. It will
achieve the same result.
The Bogey
Hole
 How
many of you remember tales of the Bogey Man and the Bogey Hole? In our house the Bogey Hole is
the cupboard under the stairs, not the left nostril, which is a wonderful source of
detritus. Arachnaphobes should stop reading now. The bogey hole has a wonderful micro-climate,
which seems to be ideal for spiders. If possible, our Large Munsterlander will sneak in there
and spend hours waiting for the spiders to come out to play. Oh well, little things please
little minds.
Oh,
please don’t threaten your new puppy with the bogey hole. It could turn him off tunnels for
life.
Who Said
Don't Walk Under Ladders?
 One
enduring superstition is not walking under ladders. It is probably very sensible if you do not
want something dropped on your head, although it might be preferable to getting knocked down by
a car.
The other day I was
emulsionning a ceiling in brilliant white. I had not dried the roller properly after the first
coat and splodges of paint were going everywhere. After a while I noticed our black Miniature
Poodle. He was lying under the ladder and had been instantly transformed into a Dalmatian.
The Lock of
Hair
 It
used to be a tradition that a lock was cut from a young child’s hair and put away safely. In
many rural areas the hair was brought out at the time of the wedding and the lock of hair from
the bride and groom were mixed together. It was meant to expedite a family and ensure that the
children would be good tempered.
I wonder if anyone has ever
tried it with dogs?
Cartoons: Kim Blundell
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