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How many agility.... does it take
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| Judges | Q How many Agility judges does it take to change a light bulb? |
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. A. Only one, the world revolves around them. Mike Gooch |
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| Course Builders | Q . How many course builders does it take to change a light bulb? |
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A. 60 (approx. three per obstacle) The first, to get the bulb within a foot of the plans. The second, to get the bulb within an inch of the plans. The third, to move the socket, re-wire it, screw in the bulb, and flip the switch. If the structure isn't to scale, double the amount of course builders. Mike Gooch |
Breed
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Q. How many agility dogs does it take to change a light bulb? |
| All American/Mixed Breeds |
A.
Whasamadder?
Aintcha ever seen a DOG change a LIGHTBULB before?
A.
While all you
purebreds are trying to figure it out, just give me the lightbulb and let's be done
with it! |
| American Eskimo |
A.
I can show you 12 ways to screw the bulb. |
Australian Shepherd |
A. Put all the light bulbs in a little circle. |
Belgian Shepherd Dogs Tervs, Malinois, Gronendaels, Laeken etc. |
A.
. Have the silly
Terv change it, unless you got a cookie... then I will change all the light bulbs...
A.
. Haven't you HERD
anything lately? We need no lights. Bah! Bah! Black Sheep!
A.
I'll do it,
Dad. Then I'll bring all those nice crinkly little pieces and drop 'em in your lap when
you're sitting on the potty.
A.
I've
looked the problem over (I needed a good view, so I gracefully jumped on the dining room
table for a look-see). And now will casually leap completely over the coffee table to
balance easily on the back of the sofa to change that light bulb. A. . Lightbulb? But I caught a train, I caught a train, I caught a train I did! |
 Border Collie |
A. Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. It takes about one BC for at least every 100 light bulbs per day.
A.
Ooooo!
This is FUN, where are some more bulbs to
change so I can see if I can do it FASTER!
A.
The border is
still watching. It might still go on again...
A.
My
turn, my turn! Change it back for my turn. |
Boxer |
A.
Who cares
about the stupid light bulb....let's play! NOW! Juli Bechard
A.
First show me
what I should do. And then it will take me and that small Cairn who will run around and
bark to ask me to catch the cat. |
| Catahoula Leopard |
A.
I guess I can
change it. After all I need the light to read by. Julie Rettenmund |
Cattle
Dog |
A.
Bitch:
You other dogs better not touch the light bulb. It's my light bulb and I'll change it,
damn it. A. . Dog: OK, let her change it, I didn't want to change it anyway. Pam McCash |
| Chihuahua |
A. . Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Lights?
A.
We don't need
no stinkin' lights!! |
Cocker Spaniel |
A. Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. |
| Coonhound |
A.
Hey, it's
just a dog changing a lightbulb. Don't get so hung up in details. Where's the blanket I
stole from the greyhound? |
Corgi Pembroke Welsh & Cardigan Welsh |
A.
If I whirl
around here enough I think I can change it. A. That's why I have the Rottweiller around. (See Rottweiller for reply) Mary Ann Pecen
A.
Change the
lightbulb??? Leave it burnt out!!!! I can find more things to eat in the dark before mom
finds out and since she can't see me I can blame it on that darn Papillon puppy!
A. Since I can't reach it, I'd be glad to supervise its replacement! Barbara Rake |
Dachshund |
A. You know I can't reach the stupid lamp! |
| Deerhound |
A.
If I sleep on
the couch long enough, the sun will come up, and no-one will NEED to change the light
bulb. |
Doberman Pinscher |
A. . While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. |
German Shepherd Dog |
A.
None. This
would never happen. Light bulbs are replaced before they go out as part of the dog's
routine monthly maintenance of the house.
A.
. We'll do it
together as a team.
A.
My dog Sam
(Hyper Shepherd) Light Bulb? What light bulb? Where? Gimme the light bulb. Pleeeeeeaaaase!
|
Giant Schnauzer |
A.
If I stand
here and stare at my owner long enough, she'll change it and give me cookies while she's
doing it! |
Golden Retriever |
A. The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? |
Great Dane |
A. Just give me back my blanket and do it yourself. |
| Greyhound |
A.
Could you do
it?? And while you're up could you get me another blanket? |
| Hound Dog |
A. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
| Irish Wolfhound |
A. It isn't moving. Who cares? |
Jack Russell Terrier |
A.
Who cares,
now that it is dark, the rats will come out! Besides if you want me to change it, show me
what is in it for me!!
A.
Why change
the bulb when you can bury it in one of the many holes you have dug in the back yard?
A.
Light bulb? I
only said I'd help because I thought it was a funny shaped tennis ball." |
| Keeshond |
A.
I started to
change it, but discovered that the job requires an opposable thumb. Instead, I ate the
pumpkin pie I found on the counter, an activity easily accomplished in the dark!" |
Labrador |
A. Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? |
Leonberger |
A.
The
light bulb needs changing? Hmmm I think I'll take a brief nap and contemplate the
problem. With luck the Border Collie will change the light bulb, rewire the house, redo
the plumbing and program the VCR so that I won't miss any agility on Animal Planet...
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| Malamute |
A. Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. |
Mastiff |
A. Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. |
Old English Sheep Dog |
A. Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? |
Papillon |
A.
The
bulb is burned out? I couldn't tell from under the covers. Shelley Karber |
Pointer |
A. I see it, there it is, right there. |
| Pug |
A.
What's a light bulb? Can you eat it? Cuz if you can eat
it, we don't want to change it! |
Rottweiller |
A. Go Ahead! Make me! A. Yea, I'll change it. Anything to stop the nagging. (See Corgi Above) Mary Ann Pecen |
Shetland Sheepdog |
A. If I bark at it long enough and loud enough, I bet I can get it to change itself!
A.
It takes
three or more. One to change the light bulb and at least two or more to bark incessantly
to tell the one they're doing it all wrong.
A.
One Shelties
can handle that job easy! It will only take a few spins in each direction! A. Hey! Hey! There's a light bulb over here that needs changing! Hey! Hey! I don't CARE if you're sleeping! Hey! Get over here and take care of this! |
Shi-tzu |
A. Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. |
| Smooth Fox Terrier | A. Who needs lights--Rats come out in the dark from the tunnels. |
Standard Poodle |
A. Have someone else do it so we can offer them drinks afterwards! Dudley Richards |
Toy Poodle |
A. I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. |
From Joel
I wade through all the piles of
congrats, light bulb jokes, judge jokes, and individual opinions from people who haven't been
in this sport long enough to even have an opinion. So be it!
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