How agility helped me to overcome adversity

New dog holiday let and agility/dog training venue

Here are the winners of the Downsview Park competition. Their prize is a a free holiday or fully serviced and catered training day.

The Runner Up

I can't really compare with your history of grief and bereavements, but I have had my share and agility has been a huge factor in keeping me sane, not to mention physically fit.

Like you, I lost my beloved partner of 33 years thirteen years ago. We had had two border collies during that period, and after our most recent dog, a golden retriever, died we decided to go back to our favourite breed. A friend's handsome collie was 'expecting' pups from a collie/lab bitch, so we ordered a male and heard that he had been born the day before we flew to China for a much anticipated holiday. My partner collapsed and died only hours after arriving in Beijing.

My friends were afraid I would decide not to have the dog after all, and planned to keep him until I came to my senses, but there was no question of that. I chose him at only ten days old and couldn't wait to have him home with me. At least it would be someone to cuddle in bed! Yes, I know that is very bad for teaching the dog his place in the household, and I have been suffering for it ever since. The love of a dog hardly compensates for the love of a husband, but it goes a surprisingly long way.

I took Jodi to obedience classes, and my son suggested I try agility which we had seen only on Crufts at that point. I don't think it was around as a sport when we acquired our previous border collies in the 1970s. I assumed that agility was only for the young and fit, so suggested my son took him instead, but he is much more a cat person with five Maine Coons! - and was unwilling. Eventually it was an instructor at my obedience club who thought Jodi would make a good agility dog , probably because he was far too hyper-active for serious obedience, and we started training when he was two.

We both loved it from the start, and quite apart from the actual training it was something to do to fill up an evening and meet other like-minded people. I soon became much fitter than I had been for years, for although I had always walked a lot with my dogs, running was a totally new concept! I was so proud when we did our first agility display a few months later that I invited my whole family to watch, including my daughter, eight months pregnant with my first grandson. They all commented on how much happier I seemed now that I had a new focus in my life.

I had been sharing a house with my mother since I was widowed, but in 2001 she was diagnosed with bowel cancer and I had to nurse her through the final stages. Wednesday night at agility was my only evening off, and a much-needed respite. The following spring we started competing at agility, which meant not only one evening a week taken care of, but several weekend days as well. As you well know, you soon start meeting the same people at all the local shows and your circle of acquaintances expands enormously. There was little chance of feeling lonely.

And as you also know, it soon becomes addictive. Jodi was pretty fast and soon started winning rosettes, so there was more and more incentive to travel to more and more shows further afield. Once I drove from Canterbury to Eastbourne in the snow simply to try to prevent someone else at my club from wining the “Elementary Cup” we had won the previous year. Jodi won out of Elementary that day, so it was worth it!

I acquired a new partner who was not really a dog person, but he accompanied me to shows rather than be left at home on his own on a Sunday. We only ever got there just in time, and I would have to race round searching the rings for my events and just get them 'walked' by the skin of my teeth. My partner was a lot older than me, and he died in 2006. It was nothing like the same as losing my life-partner, but I was naturally still very upset and lonely. Having a dog to come home to was a huge consolation in itself, but training and competing at agility meant I had far less time to sit around moping and wondering how to fill my days.

Jodi was eight  by then and starting to slow down, and I imagined he would soon be retiring, I was wrong there!  I realised that if I stopped doing agility it would leave a huge hole in my life, and I was lucky enough to rescue a five-month old border collie, Ozzie. He belonged to an elderly lady who thought he was a good substitute for a 14 year old Westie, but luckily someone convinced her that he needed more training and exercise than she could give him. He's a lovely affectionate dog, and a real comedian who always greets me with a favourite toy in his mouth.

Ozzie started agility training when he was a year old, and I soon started training him two nights a week, so agility takes care up even more of my time. He is very fast and has terrific potential, but something always goes wrong. One pole clipped, or one contact missed by a toenail Currently he overshoots the weaves every time at shows but does them perfectly in training! He does well in helter-skelters and the like, but has only had 2nd places in the events which count, so he is still in Grade 2. Often the only rosettes I come home with belong to Jodi, who was still getting the occasional place at full height last year, aged 12, and now loves doing Allsorts and Vterans events when there are any.

I became Treasurer of my agility club four years ago, and that fills up even more of my time as well as providing much needed mental stimulus. I can even thank agility for making me move house in 2008, I wanted a larger garden to fit in some agility equipment, and I also wanted to be nearer the fields where I walk the dogs as Ozzie is worried by traffic. I found the perfect bungalow from both points of view, and am so happy there I feel a completely new person.

Since I have had the two dogs I have camped at various agility shows – Gillingham in Dorset, Newbury and Letchworth, and am going to Dorset again this year. So in this case agility provides me with lovely holidays. Those weekends are great fun, with plenty of people to chat to plus evening entertainment, and I have visited parts of the country I had never been to before. They have even enabled me to pursue some family research, as I have been close enough to places various ancestors came from to visit their villages and to study parish records in the local libraries.

All in all agility has been a life-saver for me. I have a much larger circle of friends than I had before, and I am physically much fitter in my sixties than I was in my 30s. I am out two nights a week and probably every other weekend pursuing the sport I love.

Ozzie needs every training opportunity he can get, and Jodi still absolutely loves doing agility whenever he has the chance, so the three of us would love to come to Downsview Park.  I hope you will consider us.

The Winning Entry

My story starts 12 years ago when, after years of IVF treatment and heartache, I gave birth to my twins Adam and Kerry. We felt our dream was complete, but it wasn't long before we started to realise there was something wrong.  At two years old Adam was diagnosed with severe autism and learning difficulties. A few years later, Kerry also was diagnosed with autism.

With little sleep and very challenging days that come with living with autism, I soon became very physically and mentally exhausted. I needed some kind of respite, time for myself and Ed. I was also desperate to find a window into my children's world. That's when we got Lucy, our adorable Chocolate Labrador! Not only did she ground us, she started to open up a communication and understanding between us and our children.

Adam started to talk to Lucy. He didn't say a word until five years old. We were amazed and overwhelmed. Kerry would co-operate more if ask to do things through Lucy.  Things that before would cause hour long tantrums and self-harming now would be done without fuss if I said 'Lucy wants Kerry to brush her teeth.'  It was the breakthrough we'd been looking for!

I decided to take Lucy to a local dog training school which offered obedience and agility and i was there that I fell in love with the sport! Lucy quickly moved onto basic agility and loved it!  But it wasn't to last. The trainer - now my most dearest friend - began to express concerns about her, and so we went to the vet. 

After many investigations, it was found Lucy had lots of problems including hip dysplasia and arthritis in all her joints, dwarfism, to name a few! Her agility days were over. Then to follow came three major surgeries and complications which resulted in us nearly losing our precious Lucy three times.  Broken hearted, I resigned myself to the fact I still had a unbelievable and very much alive dog who every day brought so much to our family. We just enjoyed the amazing things she made happen in our house and the windows she had opened for our children.

But alas! The agility bug had bitten! Then out of the blue, came Belle, a lab/collie X. She was a 'temporary' foster dog who needed a home environment. She had been beaten and starved and needed someone to take her in before her rehoming. I volunteered and nursed her back to health. Six months later she was feeling her feet, and just starting to do some agility, and I had fallen in love with her. I decided to give her a permanent home.  Then the worse thing imaginable happened! One day in the garden she attacked Adam. I was stunned and heartbroken. We tried to work through it, training and working with Adam, but his condition made it very difficult. We seemed to be getting some headway when she attacked again right in front of me. I had no choice but to rehome her, for her sake and my son. Typing this is still very raw. It still breaks my heart even though she has a fantastic new home.  So here I was again! The following Mother's day, my husband, knowing how effected I had been by all these events, took me on a mystery tour! We ended up in Leek at a farm full of reject farm litters! Wondering around the yard was my Zoe - a little ball of fluffy madness, my first tri blue merle. It's been a challenge but she is now competing, and is in her first season of shows! The show scene suits us. The children love the caravan - though we do have to take all their technology with us. And best of all, we are surrounded by dogs! Also doggie people seem more accepting of their strange behaviours. It isn't easy but it is one thing that we can do as a family as so many other every day things that most families do without thinking are so challenging for our children. Then there's my puppy Nutmeg (The Nutstar.)  I saw her up for rehoming on the internet. Her colouring was so different - just like Zoe's.  I emailed to ask for details and found she came from the same farm! I was in love instantly and  went to pick her up.  She is a complete goof ball and compliments and completes our pack perfectly. She is just starting her agility training, loves jumps but total opposite to Zoe, who was up for anything. She is giving me some challenges with the other equipment. What I love most about her is every time you take her out or work her it's like the first time she ever been let free!

My dog walking and agility are my great escapes and my sanity! The dogs have been our saving grace on days that seem so challenging. The dogs are the one thing that keeps stability, serenity and madness all at the same time, that's what we as a family thrive on. They don't question... they just do. They have no hang-ups. They understand my children without any explanation, and they never judge. If only society could have a little of these wonderful qualities, it would be a better place for my children and our family and others in the same situation.

About the winner...
Mandie Murphy is 44 years old and married to Ed. They have three children - Kieran, Adam, Kerry as well as three dogs - Lucy (Chocolate labby), Zoe and Nutmeg, both Tri Blue Merles.

The Competition

Do we need to ask if you would like to win a free holiday in leafy West Sussex or a fully serviced agility training day at beautiful Downsview Park. Lynn Parker is offering a week at her new luxury cottage and training venue to the winner of a competition about how agility has helped to overcome adversity. All you have to do is write a story about how agility changed your life for the better and helped you to triumph over adversity through the love of your dog and the sport agility. For more information about how to enter, read on...

As I sit here writing this short article, I feel that at last, after almost four years of adversity, life appears to have turned a corner. I am a huge believer in fate and to have found and created Downsview Park is a real sense of achievement for me. The new project here is an exciting way forward for me in a sport that was, and still is an addiction and for my beloved four dogs it is a wonderful place of fun, freedom and security. I know I am far from alone in suffering a period of constant grief and bad luck but the message from behind the sadness is a true positive one – aren't we all so lucky to be part of this great sport and community of agility but above all else to experience and appreciate the true love and partnership shared with our four legged companions. Adversity, achievement and addiction Four years ago in the summer of 2007 life was pretty good. Happily married to Les for 33 years, we were away every weekend, camper packed, dogs happily onboard and we were off all over the country, competing in agility. For life long dog lovers like us, finding the sport of agility was inspiring.

The Competition In order to win a free weeks holiday at Downsview Park or if preferred, a fully inclusive serviced and catered training day, write your story about how agility has helped you overcome adversity. It should be no more than two A4 pages. Then submit it to Lynn Parker at lynn@downsviewpark.net. Closing date is 30 July 2011. Two runners up will receive free half day use of the agility area. The winning entry will be published on Agiitynet.

In 2000 I had been seriously ill with cancer. After my recovery and the subsequent downsizing of our business, we found ourselves with more time 'to play.' Like many, we never dreamed that this fun dog thing was going to become a total way of life for us both.

Les was enjoying some regular runs with his rescue X Shepherd, Buster and sometimes with our older collie Jessie. I had been lucky enough to rehome a great little collie X JRT called Jimmy who had become a Grade 7. Together we loved everything about the life – the training, achievement, fun, partnerships with our dogs, travelling, companionship with fellow friends, camping. The list could have gone on and on.

Suddenly, completely out of the blue, everything changed. My lovely Les collapsed and died. Ironically he was cleaning the roof of our motorhome. He would have appreciated that, not just sitting in a chair or something boring. Within five months, my wonderful Jimmy was diagnosed with a genetic, incurable spinal condition and that prompted the end of such a happy way of life. By the time the year was up I had also lost two of my best girlfriends to breast cancer - Lynn Voyce and Amanda Saborn-Hutt.

Lynn and her husband Dave had been our special agility friends, always camping together, barbeques, training. Lynn and I spoke almost every day, always about all things dog. Lynn was truly inspirational in her battle with the disease, passionately believing that her dogs and agility had spurred her on to keep going. She wrote a very moving article on Agilitynet just weeks before she passed away about the benefits of having the love of the sport and partnership of her dogs in her life. Amanda, my other friend was just as brave and so often would train with her dog Finn when she was far from well enough to do so.

Then I found a new project
The refurbishment and creation of Downsview Park began a year ago. Bad luck continued to follow me. After my sad bereavements and Jimmy's serious illness, my house took a direct lightening strike just metres away from where the dogs and I were sleeping. The next morning amongst all the chaos, I just knew that I had to move, pick the pieces up and go forward.

So here I am! Downsview Park is my dream, a little agility world. I have tried to put in lots of extra touches that will inspire people to visit either to holiday, book as a venue or to come and train. I've never lost sight of making this sport part of my life once more. Sadly Jimmy, who is still only eight years old will never compete or indeed train again, but I have my new puppy, Kite. Most importantly already she is best friends with the others and a fun, daily part of life here at the Park.

I look forward to seeing many of you visit in the future.

First published 27 June 2011