It's not just aches and pains...

Shellie Smith has recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a chronic, long-term condition that causes widespread pain all over the body. There's a common myth that it's all in your head. Wrong. It's not imagined. The fatigue sleep disturbances are very real. The symptoms can be changeable - better one day and worse another. There is currently no cure, just management. Training and competing with a fast dog when you've got fibromyalgia can be frustrating. Shellie shares what she's learned thus far and how she's coping.

Living with Fibromyalgia isn't something that just appeared out of nowhere for me. It all started after emergency surgery for a burst appendix. What should have been a recovery turned into something much bigger and much harder to explain.

Fibromyalgia is constant, deep, unpredictable pain, exhaustion that no amount of sleep fixes and a body that can turn on me without warning. Some days the pain is a deep ache in every muscle, like I've run a marathon before I've even left the house. Other days it's sharp, unpredictable flares, joints that don't want to co=operate and fatigue that hits like a brick wall. Add in the brain fog, and remembering a course can feel harder than running it.

Add agility into the mix
It's not just me. It affects my dogs more than people might think. There are days I can't run like I want to. My timing can be off. My handling isn't always as sharp because the brain fog is real-honestly, I used to put that down to being a woman of a certain age and thought 'Here we go, menopause' but it's more than that.

My dogs sometimes get a version of me that's managing, not thriving.

It's sharp turns, split-second timing, mental focus and physical effort. But they still give me everything. They don't judge the slower runs, the late cues or the days I have to dig deeper just to get round a course. They meet me where I am-and that's something special.

But I still show up. Sometimes I am slower, sometimes sore, sometimes grumpy as I am hurting, but I keep wondering how on earth I'm going to keep up with a adult speedy collie and a speedy puppy collie who is faster than the adult.

And I don't just compete, I teach, too. I'm on my feet for around 20 hours a week, coaching, watching, supporting. Some days I'm already in pain before I even step onto the field.

The aftermath is probably the hardest part
After a show, recovery can be slow and really painful-especially in my legs. What might be just a weekend of competing for others can mean two or three days of recovery for me.

And that's when I've had to be honest with myself. I watch my students going out to shows, and they always say that they want me to come along. Trust me I really want to but  I have to hold back now. I can't book show after show like I used to, because I know what it will cost me physically afterwards. And that's tough because I want to be out there with them.

I also have a full time job that's not agility related. Some weeks that alone is a challenge before I've even thought about running my own dogs. But like so many of you, we find ways to make it work.

What keeps me going?
Agility isn't just about speed for me. It's about partnership, adapting and celebrating the small wins that don't always show on the results sheet.

I might not always move as quickly as I'd like and I might have to train smarter not harder, and there are definitely days where my body is screaming at me while I'm trying to smile at the start line, but my dogs don't care. They just show up, ready to run, full of joy, and that pushes me to do the same.

I've learned to:-

  • Break training into shorter sessions

  • Listen to my body even when I don't want to

  • Focus on communication over speed

  • Celebrate the small wins

  • Forgive the tougher days

Running a fast collie now with fibromyalgia isn't always a pretty sight. Sometimes it's late cues, creative line and a lot of 'well, that wasn't the plan.'  Running my Small dog Pea is a totally a different thing as I have to go all the way round the course which can be a killer. It may not be pretty and can be total chaos with either, but it's ours - and I'm proud of it.

I want to be out on the ice with my people and my classmates from the club where I train, doing what I love, but here's the truth I've learned. Winning isn't just about rosettes anymore.

Sometimes it's

  • Getting to the start line

  • Teaching a full day when my body is struggling

  • Running my dog and still finding joy in it

  • Knowing when to stop, even when I don't want to

  • Even down to getting up early in the morning. I used to spring out of bed for a show but not anymore. 


 

 

Behind the scenes
There are so many of us managing pain every single day yet still showing up, running our dogs, adapting, pushing through, pacing ourselves and celebrating the small wins. It's not always pretty. It's not always fast and some days it's really bloody hard. But we do it because we love our dogs, and we love agility.

If you're dealing with chronic pain and wondering if you can still do agility… you absolutely can. It might look different, but different doesn't mean less. It just means you and your dog(s) are finding your own way to fly.

I also hope it's opened the eyes of people who don't experience chronic pain. It's not for sympathy, not for special treatment nor not for recognition. We just want to do what we can, in the way we can, without being judged for it.

So when you see us, please remember...

  • We're not lazy.

  • We're not making excuses.

  • We're not 'not trying hard enough.

  •  We're adapting.

  • We're managing.

Dog agility still gives me purpose. My dogs still give me drive. Fibromyalgia may have changed how I do many things, but it hasn't taken away why I do them. We're showing up anyway, and that takes strength people don't always see. That's my win

About the author...
Shellie Smith

 

First posted on Agilitynet FB 

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